Where's the Bald Soprano When You Need Her?

Hi-ho fellow Grammarchists! Today we've got an exercise for those of you who've had it up to HERE with clichés.

A cliché is a phrase, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point that it has lost its intended force or novelty, especially when at some time it was considered distinctively forceful or novel. The term is most likely to be used in a negative context.

THE ASSIGNMENT: Write a dialogue that consists entirely of clichés. Don’t readily identify the topic of your discussion, but let the clichés reveal the nature of the interaction between the people.

Example: About money and lying

1. Hey, I’ve got a deal that’s as good as gold.

2. Well, your last one just about broke the bank.

3. I’m not made of money.

1. Well, if you build a better mouse trap, the world will beat a path to your door.

2. So, could I give you a penny for your thoughts?

1. You always were a penny pincher.

2. A penny saved is a penny earned.

3. A fool and his money are soon parted.

1. This will be a cash cow.

2. Well, you put your money where your mouth is.

1. This is a sweet deal, a real sweetheart deal.

2. I don’t want to be taken for a ride.

1. I told you this is worth its weight in gold.

2. Well, sometimes there’s no gold in them thar hills.

1. You’re both tightwads. You want to buy something for a song.

2. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

1. This won’t cost a kings ransom.

2. I don’t want to lose my shirt.

1. Sometimes your both a pennywise and a pound foolish. I’m going to be rolling in the dough for there’s a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. See ya. Gotta go. Time is money.

2. He’s blowing smoke, and you know where…

3. So he tried to pull the wool over your eyes to.

2. His story is hard to swallow.

3. Yeah, he lies like a rug.

2. It’s just another one of his snow jobs.

3. He always loves to pull your leg.

2. Just another tall tell of his.

3. He’s just yanking our chains.

Body Language

In this video, Sid Ceaser (from old-timey television program Your Show of Shows) duels it out with Nanette Fabray, entirely through body language, to Beethoven's 5th Symphony. The video is a testimony to how much can be said with music and body: how much we can communicate without words:

Double Negatives

Good day language-lovers! Today we've got an exercise for you that we're not sure you won't love:

Create a conversation moving through a sea of double, triple, and quadruple negatives.

Person 1: Heyyy!
Person 2: Oh..hey, how are you…
Person 1: I'm doing great, I'm doing great, wow great party huh?
Person 2: Yeah…yeah….look, Its not that I didn't want you to come or anything…but I didn't really mean for you to come.
Person 1: What, you didn't not want me to come?
Person 2: No, I didn't didn't not want you to come, I didn't want you to come.
Person 1: Right so you didn't not want me to come did you. Like you didn't not not want me to come.
Person 2: No…I didn't not not want you to come. No, wait, no…wait…no! I didn't want you to not come.
Person 1: Great, yeah, I didn't not want me to not come either…and I did bring chips and salsa so it's a great thing that I didn't not come!
Person 2: I don't care about whether you did or didn't bring chips and salsa, I did not want you to come in the first place!
Person 1: I did bring salsa though, its right over there. By the chips. Which I did bring.
Person 2: I don't care! I don't care! I didn't not want you not bring chips and not bring salsa and not bring yourself, I DIDN'T!
Person 1: You don't like Chips and salsa?
Person 2: NO! I didn't want YOU to bring them!
Person 1: Would you rather I brought something else…or if I didn't bring something else?
Person 2: I wish you didn't bring you!
Person 1: I didn't not bring me!
Person 2: Yes you did!!
Person 1: No! Your mom brought me! I met her when I wasn't not buying salsa and I wasn't not getting chips to not NOT bring to your party and not not have a good time!
Person 2: GO HOME!
Person 1: Oh…I didn't know you felt that way.
Person 2:….sigh…you didn't?

Playing with Punctuation

Good Afternoon Fellow-Utterers-- today we've, got a brand-new, exercise which, requires, you to experiment with punctuation:

Write a paragraph that, when punctuation is varied in a second version of the paragraph, has a distinctly different tone/meaning than the original. The words and sentence order should be exactly the same in both paragraphs; the only difference is in the placement of punctuation. This exercise demonstrates the powerful influence of punctuation upon meaning. It also conveys the importance of proper punctuation and the dangers of careless or haphazard use of punctuation.

Example:

Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy—will you let me be yours? ----Gloria

Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria

(Example from Ohio State University's English Department website. http://english.osu.edu/programs/firstyearwriting/resources/teacher/triedandtrue/grammar/punctuation.cfm. Originally from Games Magazine, 1984.)

Types of Sentences 2

Good day Grammar-lovers! We have a new exercise for you today, one that plays with different types of sentences.

There are four types of sentences that we use in language for four different purposes.

1. DECLARATIVE – make a statement
2. INTERROGATIVE – ask a question
3. IMPERATIVE – gives a command
4. EXCLAMATORY – shows strong emotion

Many phrases can be contained as parts or the whole of any of these four types of sentences. The object of the exercise is to play out this overlap.
Instructions for the exercise:
Pick a declarative sentence as your launching point – something active, but not too complicated.

I went to the store to get milk.
Then, write a dialogue (more than two characters can play) using only the words of that sentence, variations thereof, or common words and verbs of dialogue. Follow this order of sentences:

1. Declarative (original sentence)
2. Interrogative
3. Declarative
4. Exclamatory
5. Exclamatory
6. Imperative
7. Interrogative
8. Interrogative
9. Declarative
10. Interrogative
11. Imperative
12. Declarative

Example:
A: I went to the store to get milk.
B: You went to get milk?
A: Yeah, to the store.
B: (who happens to be lactose intolerant) WHY DID YOU GET MILK?!
A: It’s milk! I got milk!
B: Don’t get milk!
A: Why can’t I get milk?
A: Can I not go to that store?
B: You can go to that store, yeah; just don’t get milk.
A: So I can go to that store?
B: Don’t get the milk…
A: Yeah, okay.